INBOX.

[threewishes]

"Hello, hello! You've reached Kanbaru Suruga, better known as Araragi's Rin's a certain someone's sex slave. My specialty move is the edge attack. It seems I'm not available right now, but if you would leave a message, I'll be sure to get back to you on my own time. Thanks!"

1473.
mail | text | audio | video | action | etc.

Comments

[paramountcy]

There may be other victories to be had beyond the Landlord's arbitrary conditions.

There's no need for you to act yet. She'll expect an attack from me, but not from you. You're too close. While she's busy suspecting me, you'll be deployed - if you're willing.

[It's a cheap diversion - not nearly sophisticated as it could be - but it's just one plan on a roster of many, four or five plans all targeted towards winning this competition for them.]

[threewishes]

[ ooo. it's on, donkey kong ]

100%, absolutely willing. Please keep me posted.

can she touch her butt for the butt touch task

[paramountcy]

As you wish.

Welcome to the team, Kanbaru.

Oh, and - watch out for Mankanshoku. She'll undermine your plans in the most surprising of ways. Don't engage.

of course, she would be honored 1/2

[threewishes]

Thank you very much, Satsuki-sama!
I'm happy to be here.

[threewishes]

Mankanshoku? ... Mako?
Oh. I admit, that's surprising to hear... But I'll take your word for that. It won't happen, so far as it's possible to not engage with a roommate.

[paramountcy]

I don't think she herself is aware of it.

[That makes her all the more formidable. Who would suspect Mako if even Mako won't suspect Mako?]

Just don't let yourself be taken unawares.

Give her cheese, if you have to.

and then...the day of the butt-touch

[paramountcy]

Kanbaru.

I have a request to make of you. For the team.

[She should have received the same tasks, it seems...if previous days' lists are anything to go by. With hope, she'll understand the necessity.]

!!!111!!

[threewishes]

[ ch...eese. duly noted. like, literally she should be writing this shit down, and then stocking up on some goddamn cheese. ]

[ she's come to notice that, ah, mako, satsuki and ryuko come from an. interesting world ]

Of course. May I ask what it is?

[paramountcy]

Doubtless you've perused your orders for the day already.

At least one of them can only be accomplished with your acquiescence.

[Don't make her say it in so many words...]

[threewishes]

[ COULD IT BE........ ]

"Take a selfie with a teammate"?

[ say it, satsuki. ]

[paramountcy]

[She's going to have to watch out for Suruga...this is a level of dangerous awareness. Tip her had too much, and Satsuki risks humiliation.]

It's true I must also complete that task; however, I meant the other item.

I must request permission to touch your posterior.

[threewishes]

[ bingo. she might react more strongly if she hadn't already offered her ass to asuka, too... ]

Permission granted, Satsuki-sama!
Where would you like to meet? I think it may be more prudent to do so at your house, but wherever you decide is best is also fine with me.

[paramountcy]

You knew what I would ask before I asked it.

[Satsuki wasn't fooled, and she doesn't want Suruga to think she's pulled something over on her.]

My house is fine. I'll be respectful.

(sorry for lateness, btw, blargh! feel free to disregard)

[threewishes]

[ oopsies ]

Sorry, sorry! I'll readily admit to this blunder. Not that my excuse is anything but an excuse, but it seemed prudent to doublecheck! I think it would be arrogant of me to assume that was what you were to ask.

I'll be there as soon as I can!

[ which will be really soon, as it just so happens. ]

[paramountcy]

[Was she just waiting nearby for an exchange like this to happen? Suspicious...

Satsuki waits at her front door with sternness and professionalism. That she can be so stern about what is so objectively a ridiculous challenge...makes her reaction, in turn, seem ridiculous.]

Kanbaru. [She bows slightly in greeting.]

[threewishes]

[ nothing like taking a challenge overly seriously, right... she knows this mindset, so thinks this warranted. even if satsuki's... sternness, can be somewhat amusing time to time.

she bounds up, waves, and hastens to bow as satsuki does so. more deeply, however. ]

Hello, Satsuki-sama! It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance in person.

[ wow, ryuko's sister... she supposes, if she squints, she can see the resemblance. thank goodness she got any fangirling out of her system through text, or otherwise this might be an even awkwarder encounter. geez, satsuki's hard not to admire though, if the grin on kanbaru's face is anything to go by. ]

[ and she's unsure how quickly the other would like to get this over with... maybe, with how direct and no nonsense the request was, she should behave similarly. thus, she pivots slightly on the spot (revealing... the posterior), her sneakers screeching against the concrete. ]

Whenever you're ready.

JESUS

[paramountcy]

At you're heart, you're a businesswoman, I see. We'll get along.

[Or destroy each other, like real businesswomen.

Satsuki keeps herself from starting when she turns around, expression a brick wall. It's unexpected, no doubt, but she'd rather the enthusiasm than the awkwardness.]

Prepare yourself.

[She warms her hands, palm together, then lets one touch...the booty...as if it's a very hot object. Quick, efficient, delicately handled.]

HAHAHA 1/2

[threewishes]

[ that sure was a butt touch... so quick, too. she's impressed with satsuki's speed, really. and in that split second, kanbaru has to make a decision:

on a scale of 1-10, how awkward does she further want to make this encounter. ]

[threewishes]

[ she decides to with a solid 3. the worst can be withheld for another day... ]

[ alas, recovered, she spins around to face satsuki again, her skirt flying up (thank goodness for those bike shorts). she's beaming, all smiles. ]

Wow, you're really talented! That speed was unprecedented, I think. And I'll thank you, too, for how gentle you were... It's not everyday that someone like me is touched by a woman like yourself.

[paramountcy]

[The universe thanks Kanbaru for her discretion.]

I did my best to spare you from the humiliation. [Satsuki has never considered compromising herself in humiliating ways to be a handicap, but...maybe she was trying to spare herself as well.] It's not every day I do the same.

...Should we take the self portrait now?

[threewishes]

The... self=portrait?

[ give her a second; she's legitimately stumped by this one. ... but then it clicks, and she claps a fist into an open palm. ]

Right! "Selfie"! I've heard those are all the rage, you know. Please, by all means!

[ she sidles up to satsuki's side, as appropriate selfie etiquette tends to dictate. ... and fishes out her phone, even if satsuki might be taking a selfie as well, to angle it aloft. ... a selfie with the great satsuki, wow!! she wouldn't let this opportunity pass by, either. ]

[paramountcy]

[Selfie...self portrait...Same thing.]

Yes. Ryuko is fond of taking photographs with others. [She's familiar with the exercise, even if she's only recently begun taking part.

Satsuki leans shoulder-to-shoulder with Kanbaru, her smile close-mouthed and thin. At least there's a smile there, even if she otherwise seems stiff and awkward - practiced.]

You may take the first shot.

[threewishes]

She does?! And she hasn't asked for one with me...?!

[ completely bewildered by the news. but okay, c'mon suruga, get yourself together. the woman's smiling for you and everything. after throwing up a victory sign, she clicks the side-button, which elicits the telltale ker-chik of a photograph being taken.

the phone's lowered, so that they might view this beautiful view new memory. well, satsuki looks... stiff and awkward. kanbaru's also managing to smile, yet still looks distressed.

uh, she'll look better for the next one, hopefully. ]

[paramountcy]

That won't do.

[She gets a glimpse of their bounty, and it's not satisfactory at all. Satstuki's frown deepens. Photographic evidence just proves that she isn't taking this part of the challenge seriously enough at all. Anyone can look natural for a picture; all she has to do is harness the same discipline she'd apply to any other task.]

Take another one.

[She shifts, trying to mold herself into this role - the type of person who takes a lot of selfies. Bending at the knee again, she drops herself lower into the frame.]

Think of something that amuses you.

[threewishes]

Something amusing, huh... Ah, be sure to do the same!

[ trying to think of what amuses her is suddenly surprising difficult... what is it? crushing her opponents on the court? dropping the "i'm a lesbian" bomb on others? butts?

she better positions the camera in preparation for this. this is ultimate levels of seriousness here, all wrapped-up in the guise of amusement. she knows just the thing to lighten the mood. ]

Satsuki-sama. Why is Santa so jolly?